


Delusional Hormones

by slytherab



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Crack, Humor, M/M, POV Harry Potter, Sexual Humor, many many hormones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 19:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30144636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherab/pseuds/slytherab
Summary: Harry Potter was a fifteen-year-old boy with the hormones running high, who could be so cruel as to blame him for being attracted to Voldemort?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Harry Potter/Voldemort
Comments: 16
Kudos: 111





	Delusional Hormones

Harry was having a quiet dinner together with some other people from the _Order of the Phoenix_ when Dumbledore appeared on the floo network wearing one of his horrible colored robes. The headmaster looked at least finished, his countenance marked, bringing out his old age, Harry thought that his lilac robes did not match his sadness very much. He took a tablespoon of tomato in his mouth, his green eyes still focused on Dumbledore as the old man sat sighing at the head of the table.

He received several cheerful lengths that seemed to disappear when they noticed his expression. There was a long silence before the headmaster spoke. "I bring bad news." Everyone turned to look at him with concern. Harry _sucked_ on his soup spoon, making a louder noise than necessary, which resulted in several scolding looks directed at him.

He snorted, rolling his eyes, but did nothing more. Harry was frankly irritated with Dumbledore, how could the headmaster just avoid him after everything that happened? He deserved at least an explanation, but no, the old man didn't even look him in the eye.

"Voldemort has regained its old appearance." Dumbledore said, which resulted in a rather confused silence. After all, there were few people who had known Voldemort as Tom Riddle. And few had seen the man in person. That caught Harry's attention, causing him to drop his soup spoon in the bowl that was still full.

"Is he like T-Tom Riddle?" Ginny's fearful voice spoke, her arms around her almost protectively. Harry looked at her in disbelief, did she think Tom Riddle would jump and appear out of nowhere? Well, on second thought, until it was possible.

Dumbledore sighed and held out a piece of paper, which Harry thought was a photograph, to Professor McGonagall. The woman stared at the paper in silence, showing no reaction. Harry tried to do the calculations in her head, was it possible that she knew Tom Riddle? A few seconds later, members of the Order began to squeeze in beside the teacher to be able to see the photograph. Standing abruptly, Harry reached out and roughly grabbed the photo of Professor McGonagall's hand. He made a face at Ginny, who looked like she was about to cry, and finally looked at the photo.

Her eyes widened at the same moment. When Dumbledore said that Voldemort was like his old self, Harry imagined that the dark wizard was exactly like Tom Riddle in the diary. But no, the man in that photo was certainly not sixteen years old. He looked like Tom Riddle, the same charming beauty that made anyone fall to their knees, but he was older, his face becoming harder and so ... _sexy_. There was no other word to describe it. In the photo he was distracted, leaning on a table making his _biceps_ visible over the black robes he wore. Strangely, Voldemort's red eyes only helped to make him more attractive.

"Mercy." Harry spoke, his lips dry. He hoped that Dudley's baggy pants would prevent others from seeing his little problem in the middle of his legs. "There is no way I can fight this ... _man_."

_Man_. My Merlin, Voldemort was a _man_. A handsome and attractive man and all Harry wanted was to kneel in front of him and beg him to _fuck him_.

NO!

Those are the hormones talking. _HORMONES_. He sure as hell didn't want his parents' killer to put _his dick in his ass._ Right?

"It's okay, Harry, I think it's just a change of appearance due to potions." Dumbledore spoke calmly, and Harry raised his incredulous green eyes to face him.

"W-what? What are you talking about?" Harry stammered confused. Turning to face the others, he realized that most of the other members of the Order had thought his reaction was fear. "No, that is not it." He waved his hand without caring. From the cemetery, Harry had kind of envisioned Voldemort as _something_ , not him or her. It was a little strange to see the dark wizard so ...

A movement beside him made his thoughts dissipate. Sirius walked over to him, placing a welcoming hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, pronglest."

Harry wanted to roll his eyes, but he was too confused by his own feelings to be mocked. "No, I'm saying there is no way I can fight Voldemort with that appearance!" He practically shouted at the end, and the others just look at him confused. "Merlin, how do you want me, a _teenager full of hormones_ ," he nodded to himself "fight a man who looks like a _fucking adult magazine model_ ?!"

It was very unfair! How could Harry concentrate on casting spells, or perhaps know how to speak?

There were several simultaneous gagging, wide eyes, choked words, before a single descending voice asked. "Adult magazine?"

He rolled his eyes, seriously about all his speech did they get just that? " _Porn_ , Mrs. Weasley!"

The woman looked like she was about to pass out, her red cheeks almost the color of her hair and a hand against her chest as if she wanted to control her heart. "Okay, Molly, breathe." Harry controlled the urge to roll his eyes again almost saw Mr. Weasley trying to calm the woman down.

Honestly, _HE_ should be calming down now. Wouldn't it be _HIM_ who would have to fight not only against a Dark Lord but also against the desire to give his ass to that Dark Lord? Harry was the _victim_ here!

"He's really crazy ..." He heard a murmur from two members of the Order that he didn't remember the name.

Harry cautiously put the photo in his pocket as everyone started to shout and argue. Grabbing his bowl of soup, he walked in discreet and silent steps to the door, his eyes wide open looking for someone who was watching him. But luckily everyone seemed more concerned with shouting at each other. He wanted to stay and argue with them, but it was kind of embarrassing after he admitted ... er ... _beattractedtomyparents'killer._

He was about to go up the stairs to his room on the second floor when he heard a high-pitched voice from the kitchen. "Wait! Does that mean he's _gay?_ " Ginny asked, her voice tearful. Merlin, wasn't she crying over Tom Riddle ten seconds ago?

There was a scornful laugh before Snape spoke. "Gay or with a very serious problem with authority figures."

**Author's Note:**

> Hum ... well ... hello?
> 
> be attracted to my parents' killer :)
> 
> English is not my first language. Help is always welcome.


End file.
